The Perfect Pour
March 27th, 2008
This month’s rotation really got my ingenious mind working. I don’t mean the fact that I have to know all the brand names for every generic just to locate the drugs, or the fact that I have to push F4 instead of ENTER after inputing a patient’s name (because pushing ENTER to enter just makes way too much sense for the dumb asses who developed the system).
My mind gets a workout because each morning I must contrive a nifty little mind game to keep myself sane. What else can I possibly do with 2 pharmacists, 5 techs, 8 hours, and only 190 scripts besides picking my nose and scratching my ass?
So this morning, I decided to count by 5’s, backwards. 30, 25, 20….5 tablets of HCTZ. That carried me through 4 scripts until my fascinating mind started counting backwards and forwards simultaneously. 30, 5, 25, 10, 20, 15 Nexium capsules. Too easy. I needed a bigger challenge.
That’s when, at time 10:23 am of date Thursday, March 27, 2008, The Perfect Pour was born.
It wasn’t until my 6th pursuit that I attained perfection. The script called for 30 metoprolol tablets. With wrist steady as rock and light as feather, I poured out precisely 30 tablets. The feeling was so elating that I thought I had a mind orgasm. Next up, 14 tablets of Cipro. Again, exactly 14 tablets were poured on my blue Protonix counting tray. Back to back perfection.
Can I three-peat? As I started to pull the next script, Mr. SpongeBob (that’s not really his name) approached the window, whispering for us to fill one of his Viagra. I poured out one tablet, and my 3 consecutive perfect pours delivered the best mind orgasm of mankind, the same orgasm Mr. SpongeBob will experience in an hour.
Unfortunately, my attempt at regaining perfection failed for the rest of the day.
A new tech came in around late afternoon. It was her first day. Apparently, someone forgot to teach her the basics because she was counting by 3’s. Hmm, counting by 3’s. Tomorrow’s game should be interesting.