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In his latest album Hanh Phuc Cuoi, Dam Vinh Hung steers away from “nhac sen” and returns to his flawless execution of tempo allegro ballads. Almost every track is accompanied by the acoustic, and the dynamic variations in these tracks render them so addictive that one spin won’t do much justice. In “Pho Vang Em,” he makes an exquisite transition from adagio and launches into the chorus with great passion. His note augmentation is especially fitting here. On the title track, he uses the accompaniment of the piano to mourn a deceased lover while exhibiting a masterful vibrato. Unfortunately, I was totally turned off by the reference to his lover as “anh” when he questions “Nguoi tinh oi sao anh no ra di.” Perhaps the gender disparity in the lyrics is intentional, and Mr. Dam is finally coming out of the closet. The weakest track is “Dung So,” where his gay-ass, feministic vocals is flat out scary. Dam Vinh Hung has always been successful at putting his emotions on every note of every song. Hanh Phuc Cuoi is no different. It is one of the best albums of the year and unarguably a must-have for those who enjoy his music.

The good thing about a war theme show is that it includes many of the best songs ever written. The bad thing is that these songs have been recycled so many times by so many singers that they have become extremely boring. Asia 58 - La Thu Tu Chien Truong is just that. Extremely boring.

Don’t get me wrong, I find the letters written by soldiers from the battle fields very powerful. However, the warfare vernacular used by the MCs throughout just totally threw me off, probably because I didn’t understand half of it. Even Thuy Duong lost her usual charm as MC. Her breasts looked slightly bigger than two mosquito bites in those dresses. And you just can’t expect to be charming with breasts like those. Put Lam Thuy Van and newcomer Bich Van up there, they’ve got huge “charmers.” The inclusion of “Bomb Lady” Duong Nguyet Anh was simply brilliant. She brought credibility and femininity to the show. In fact, she looked better than any of the female singer on stage, young or old.

The program included mostly medleys of 2 songs performed by 2 singers in succession, a technique mastered by Asia to ensure a more inclusive song list. Again, as timeless as these songs may be, they have been covered so many times that the only way to make them fresh again is by singing them naked on stage (except for Y Phuong and Trish, because that’s just gross). Even the dynamic duet of Ngoc Ha and Nguyen Khang couldn’t capture the romanticism of “Chan Troi Tim.”

I just can’t stand the look on Trish’s face during the fashion show number. Just wanna smack her across the face. Is it just my imagination or you can totally see through Ho Hoang Yen’s dress in “Dem Cuoi Cung”? I’m glad Dang The Luan decided to abandon his diseased vibrato. He sounded much less like a sheep this time around.

One of the best parts of the program is the comedy by Hong Dao and Quang Minh, featuring their 2 daughters. You are almost always guaranteed a good laugh, a good cry, and a meaningful message every time they perform. Also, the stage design was spectacular throughout the program, magnificently recreating the rural battle terrains.

I really wish La Thu Tu Chien Truong would have a greater impact on me emotionally. Despite an original theme and a great song selection, the show failed short of being memorable. Well, for me at least!

Watching Van Son videos is like watching your old wedding tapes. You just want to skip to the good parts and never watch it again when it’s over.

Van Son 39 - Me Va Que Huong is no exception. It includes the typical line up of D-list singers whose performances were as exciting as watching my shit swirling down the toilet. So critiquing them is beyond pointless. Nonetheless, I have to give props to Linda Chou for shedding her tears in “Me Yeu Dau,” though her vocals elicit little emotions and plateau throughout the song with total atonality. But who needs techniques when you have a hot ‘lil figure like that.

What carried the show forward was the hilarious comedy of Van Son, Bao Liem, and Viet Thao. The audience was treated to a surprise appearance by Bao Quoc, a legendary comedian from Vietnam and a personal favorite of mine. His likable presence on stage and masterful acting proved worthy of his NSƯT title (Nghệ Sĩ Ưu Tú). One word of advice to the producers, kill the fucking laugh tracks. We’re perfectly capable of deciding for ourselves what is funny and what is not. Dumb asses.

Musically, the opening song was one of a few performances worth watching. It combined inarguably the four best vocalists of the show in Diem Lien, Nguyen Hong Nhung, Nguyen Khang, and Don Ho. Of the solo numbers, Nguyen Khang blew the rest away with his nostalgic, half jazzy, half bluesy, mid-tempo rendition of “Que Me Trong Niem Nho.” Diem Lien’s over-the-top, forceful (and a bit fearful) cover of “Con Yeu” would annoy even her mother let alone myself. At least she stuck with Cam Van’s lyrics. The program closed out with a well-arranged medley of classic favorites, ranging from “Long Me” to “Que Huong.”

I was going to end this review with something clever, but unfortunately my parents are watching the video right next to me. So I’m going to poke my eyes and ears out to save myself from having to watch it again. Yeah, it sucked that bad.

Inspired by Thomas D. Le’s English translation of popular Vietnamese songs, I attempted at my own translation. This song was at the top of my ipod playlist a few years back.

The Tearful Moon

It is over, my love.
Olden days of us together, never a moment apart,
Of us sitting on sandy beach staring out into the midnight sea,
Singing whimsically verses of romantic love songs.

My heart is saddened because I still reminisce,
Because I still deplore how quickly we drifted.
Life is but a storm of many sorrows,
engulfing rapidly our once passionate love.

So please sweetheart, don’t linger in waited hopes.
Don’t feel remorse, for it will only hurt more.
Our love has faded.
You and I have gone our separate ways.

Now I’m sitting here alone.
The tearful moon and fallen stars have cried a river.
I’m grieving for myself, for you, and for the love we’ve shared
in woeful winter breeze.

There’s no need to cry my love, for I’ve come to realize.
Nobody wants a future that diverges in two.
Love comes and goes very unexpectedly.
Only a few enjoys a lifetime of happiness together.

Perhaps when you find someone new,
You will quickly forget the memories we’ve shared.
And I wish that the person you’ll meet
will be by your side and love you faithfully.

So please sweetheart, don’t linger in waited hopes.
Don’t feel remorse, for it will only hurt more.
Our love has faded.
You and I have gone our separate ways.

In the future if we get to meet again,
I ask that we at least exchange one word.
So we won’t forget the serenity
of a love that has given us our first dreams.

I get excited every time Thuy Nga releases a new video, because I get to rip their piece of crap product into pieces on my blog. However after watching Paris by night 91 — Hue Sai Gon Ha Noi, I walked away utterly thwarted. There will be no ripping of any sort this time.

The program takes its audience on a musical journey from Hanoi, Hue, to Saigon. The transition between each region flows beautifully with a well-scripted documentary, followed by a collaboration of singers in an arrangement by composer Pham Duy.

The selection of songs celebrating Hanoi is simply amazing. In “Hướng Về Hà Nội,” Thu Phuong poured out her soul on every note, rendering the live performance nothing short of breathtaking. Quang Dung finally lived up to his star quality in “Hà Nội Ngày Trở Về,” though I find the arrangement a bit banausic. I was also unimpressed with Thanh Truc’s and Tu Quyen’s tasteless rendition of “Em Đi Chùa Hương.” The Son totally butchered one of my favorite Ha Noi songs “Hà Nội Mùa Vắng Những Cơn Mưa.” His cover is no where near Cam Van’s.

The Hue section of the program is a snore fest, barring the number by Khanh Ly and Quang Le, where the collapsing bridge was brilliantly simulated on stage. The comedy was smartly written. Huong Thuy acted as well as she looked, and shortie Be Ti cracked me up with her dead on Hue accent.

Huong Lan proved she’s still the queen of Saigon in a Tân Cổ with Minh Vuong. Tam Doan’s bubbly performance brought the beautiful imagery of Vietnam’s countryside to life, though she seemed just a bit too old and slightly too pudgy to be pouncing around like a 20-year-old. It’s nice to see Minh Tuyet fully dressed, yet again.

What baffled me is the inclusion of Top Chef winner Huynh Hung in the program. I totally don’t get it. Also, Nguyen Ngoc Ngan needs to get his head out of Mai Thien Van’s ass. Thuy Nga has hoped to replace the vocals of Ngoc Ha and the beauty of Nhu Quynh with this new comer. What they got instead is an average singer with horse teeth and a mustache. Before they can bring her to stardom, they need to bring her to Hanh Phuoc Cosmetic Surgery first. No hard feelings MTV!

Granted I haven’t heard a single track from Chosen One’s latest album Now or Neva. I didn’t want to. The idiotic spelling of the title alone compels me to smash and burn the CD already. Plus, I’d rather listen to the sound of my fingernails scraping on a blackboard. Even though I hate his rhymes, can’t stand his rapping, and don’t think much of him as an artist, I still respect the guy for trying to make a living doing what he loves, despite his limited talents.

At first, I find his marketing scheme quite funny. “SPECIAL!!! First 100 orders will receive an autographed CD AND a personal phone call from Chosen himself.” Priceless! But after much thinking, I realize it’s sad really. I mean the guy is so desperate to sell CDs, so wanted to get his music out to the public that he would pimp himself by calling the first hundred people who bought his album. Sure his music doesn’t speak much volume, but at least his actions do.

So as a good deed for the day, I bought the CD to support him. You never know, one day when it snows in hell I might just listen to it.

Update: To answer a reader’s question, no, I wasn’t the first 100 to buy the CD so I didn’t get the call. Good for you Chosen!

Singer Nguyen Khang was rushed to the ER last night for an apparent drug overdose. He was found unconscious in his bedroom along with several drug bottles by family members. It’s not clear whether the overdose was an accident or a suicide attempt. However, close friends said the singer has been dealing with relationship problems. He was released from the hospital earlier this morning surrounded by family and friends.

Asia Entertainment’s latest video The Gioi Tinh Yeu makes you appreciate the simple things in life, like the skip button on your remote control.

If it’s not Dan Nguyen’s constipated, over dramatic singing, then it’s Lam Nhat Tien’s fagotty vocals and gay-ass performance. On every note, the queer sounds like someone is holding a death grip on his balls so tightly that he could barely breathe let alone sing. Even my 2-year-old niece has a more commanding voice. Skip! Skip!

Speaking of 2-year-olds, chinky Doanh Doanh looks like she should be holding a baby bottle instead of a microphone. Together with Chosen One’s awkward gestures, lame lyrics, and off-beat rapping, the two seem lost on stage like 2 clueless kids being forced to perform by their parents. Skip!

Nhu Quynh’s “Khoc Me” solo is another skip worthy performance. After being inseminated by some lucky dude, she finally got her figure back. But sadly, she lost her voice. What was once a lucid and sweetly refined voice is now a prickly “chua” squeal. She turned a well-written, sentimental song into an abrasive piece. I guess all the moaning she does in bed finally takes a toll on her voice. My advice, stop spreading those legs!

But the skip button proved most useful on Dang The Luan’s catastrophic number. First of all, the dude looks like a bastard child of a monkey and a rat. And secondly, his vibrato sounds like the mating call of dogs and sheep, with chills. Doesn’t anybody in the production have the balls to tell him how much he sucks? Were they deaf when the track was recorded? Don’t they realize that just because a singer can cover “nhac sen” doesn’t mean he/she can don “tan co?” A healthy, controlled vibrato is an essential element in this type of music, and it’s not a technique acquired overnight. It’s a gift, a gift that sheepish Dang The Luan definitely doesn’t have. His tone diminishment is nonexisting. So when he deploys his cheap, diseased vibrato on a note, his voice wobbles and becomes tremulous. The result is not skillful vocalization but fearful mating call.

The video does indeed have strong performances, but too few to save the slew of failures. The opening Trinh Cong Son and Vu Thanh An medley is particularly captivating, with congruous song selection and musical arrangement. You can’t go wrong with Don Ho and the terrific lineup of quality vocals. In another medley, Nguyen Khang demonstrated his versatility by powering up his style to match Y Phuong’s screaming bout and softening to a romantic calm to append Thien Kim’s sultry voice.

So watching Asia 57 - The Gioi Tinh Yeu is not a total waste of time after all. At least I know my skip button still works. Next up on Asia 58, the power of MUTE!

This nostalgic translation of Ngo Thuy Mien’s “Mua Thu Cho Em” employs a slight divergence from the original script to successfully capture the romanticism in the song. A perfect accompaniment to Ngoc Lan’s soulful cover.

Did you hear, sweetheart, autumn rains and leaves,
The golden deer that sing their courtship song,
And autumn softly gliding in steps long
To bring new love in which we fain believe?
The autumn spirit whisp’ring gently in my ear
Eternal love we swear for you and me, my dear.

Did you know, sweetheart, autumn rains and breeze,
The autumn easing down in solitude?
Did you know, sweetheart, fall has come in peace,
And filled our hearts with new and soothing mood?
The autumn cool and sweet smells sing and dance,
That set my soul afire in drunken trance.

The waning sun lit up my eyes aglow,
As clouds in azure sky blew my teased hair.
My pale and fragrant lips flew in the air,
And blushed my face with love in lovely show.

I will sing you a soothing song, my dear,
To lull you to a deep and peaceful sleep.
Tomorrow rain will lash the hillside sheer,
And you and I will bask in autumn deep.

Did you dream, sweetheart, autumn gloomy sobs,
That fill my eyes with tears and dewy drops?
Did you dream, sweetheart, autumn furtive steps
That lead our hearts to love’s voluptuous depths?

Translated by Thomas Le

You’ve probably heard of and grooved to the hit single “Buttons” by The Pussycat Dolls featuring Snoop Dogg. Check out the Vietnamese rendition “Lang Quen” by Bao Thy and her English/Vietnamese remix. Her adaptation isn’t bad. The concoction of Western tempo, Indian instrumental, and Eastern lyrics is quite intriguing initially. However the song gets annoying after a few spins, as her accent becomes more apparent in “Loosh-ing” up my buttons!